“I’m not really one for rumination. Meaning: My kids and I feel our feelings — often deeply — and then, if the feelings are negative, we try to move on. If the feelings are positive, we try to savor them, to hang on to them.” ~Christine Carter, PhD
Some people may think I am this unusual happy-go-lucky, never-having-a-negative-thought individual, due to all the writing I do about positivity and joy. Be assured that my reality encompasses the full scale of human emotions!
Looking back, I have been through years of negativity, when thinking positive on a grand scale was not a glimmer in my then-challenging reality. Thinking STRONG was about as positive as I could be during those years of personal and family turmoil. Fortunately, the most upbeat part of me knew to reach deep inside through all the hurt and fear, as I tapped into my inner strength and guidance to help me persevere along that difficult journey. And yes, eventually I came to the figurative light at the end of the tunnel.
What I learned from my own experience is that it is okay to acknowledge and experience one’s negative feelings. You cannot and should not deny or suppress your feelings, because they are part of your own personal reality. However, and here is the significant “but” — but don’t, as Christine Carter suggests, “ruminate” there forever. Know you CAN move on. Feel the pain, but then let go of it, release it out to the Universe, to God, to wherever.
Know you can find your light again, and let it move you forward toward improved and more optimistic thinking. Staying in the tense, unproductive and downright toxic energy of negative feelings for a prolonged period of time is unhealthy. I am convinced (and scientific evidence supports this) that remaining there will only lead to the manifestation of physical symptoms and illness.
The flip side of this equation is that when you manage to consciously shift yourself up the emotional scale into a better-feeling place — SAVOR that place. That is the feeling to ruminate on — to be in alignment with. When you find yourself in this sunshine-filled, good-feeling reality — exalt your magnificence, the powerful YOU that has brought yourself happily to this moment. Celebrate your optimistic self! And you will feel even better, drawing more good-feeling, positive aspects toward you.
Some joys in our lives are sudden and unexpected (as are some of our sorrows.) But recognize and appreciate the gamut of all these remarkable times. Bask in the joy. File that particular, remarkably clear, slice-of-happy-life feeling in the back of your mind to reach for on another day, when you might need to be uplifted by the memory of it.
Affirmations:
- I acknowledge ALL my feelings and release the ones that no longer serve me.
- I know that I can consciously let go of painful emotions and replace them with powerfully joyful ones.
- I take time to savor and appreciate those moments of joy, accomplishment and exhilaration.
Healing Attitude – Focus on Balance and Well-Being
By · CommentsIt is the usual greeting to ask someone “How are you doing?” or “How’s it going?” How many time do you get the elongated response: “Oh, I pulled my back out. I’ve been in pain. Now my knees are hurting me. I have arthritis in my hands” and so on? As humans, we love to tell our story — sometimes in great and emotional detail. But what happens when our story gets repeated over and over to everyone we come in contact with, and we get stuck in that place of sickness?
Often it leads to more sickness, as we find ourselves in an emotional cavern of ill health and body/mind imbalances. The more we focus our attention on the details of our stresses, symptoms and ailments, the more they expand and multiply. Repetitive emotional stress and prolonged negative thinking can lead to physical symptoms — this has been shown through scientific studies.
Intellectually, most of us DO have a clue about this, but sometimes our human nature prevails — and if we are hurting, we want to tell the world, simply because we believe that might help us feel better. And perhaps for a moment, it does. Additionally, we tend to like the attention that our “sickness stories” bring us. And we always welcome support from others.
But overall, isn’t it more beneficial to embrace well being, to take as many powerful steps to return to balance and positive health? Practically speaking, part of that may require excellent medical care — both traditional and holistic. But another powerful part of that may include quieting the negative story about our ongoing list of ailments and all that is wrong in our lives.
Shifting the way you think about health, even a little, might have remarkable results. Start to connect to a sense of BALANCE, of harmony — consciously make that change in your thinking. So yes, it’s okay to acknowledge your ills — your feelings are your feelings. But don’t marinate there. Always envision yourself moving forward in the flow of well-being. Make it your intention to accept powerful and complete healing in your life.
Transformation – Making Positive Shifts in Your Life
By · CommentsTransformation, change and shifting one’s beliefs, one’s energy and one’s life are common goals these days. Many are seeking to be a more enlightened, confident, joyful and balanced version of themselves.
When we think of transforming, we usually are referring to radical change, dramatic change, not just something slight. So by focusing on this concept, does that mean we are not good enough the way we are?
Of course, it’s important to accept our genuine selves, the way we truly are — both good and bad, both conflicted and peaceful, both egotistic and altruistic. Because everybody is multi-faceted and quite complex. But I’ve yet to meet a person who will proclaim, “Oh, yes, I’m truly perfect, there’s not a thing about myself that I wish to change.”
Perhaps, in a spiritual way, we are all perfect in the eyes of the Divine, and though we can sometimes truly embrace that, here in the physical plane, we always seem to have something about ourselves that we would like to improve. Sometimes we perceive just a little change — and other times the change we seek is monumental.
So keep in mind the following thoughts:
1) Change is a PROCESS. When one is seeking to truly leave behind negative thinking and difficult life patterns to adapt more positive, joyful ones, it is so essential to accept the knowing that making shifts is a journey, not an instantaneous, miraculous happening. But depending upon the person, the motivation and focus, rapid changes are possible.
2) Always maintain a sense of love and acceptance of yourself. Be kind to yourself and have patience. But also, hold on to that knowing that you CAN change in wonderful ways.
3) Be steadfast and determined — stick to your resolve regarding personal goals. Not everyone will be supportive of your changes. Sometimes those close to you will be confused or challenged by some of the changes in your own path — or possibly just not quite understanding. Keep the lines of communication open.
4) Be aware of the paths of change. Recognize that change must first arise solely from within you, born of the yearnings of your authentic heart. These desires can become amplified from reading, personal research, and social interaction in real life and on the internet.
5) Find a champion/mentor to support your goals, if that feels right to you. This can be a teacher, coach, counselor, family member or friend.
6) Transformation never reaches a stage of completion. You’re never done. You are always growing, changing, and evolving. It is key to just enjoy the exhilaration of the journey!
Affirmations:
I boldly embrace positive changes in all aspects of my life.
I shift my beliefs to resonate with the inner strengths and rhythms of my heart.
As I allow my life journey to unfold, I create plans and goals that feel right to me.
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” Henry David Thoreau
This wise old saying gives us very clear permission to follow that different drummer, yet most of us still are of the mindset of comparing and measuring ourselves against others. And then what happens: we often become frustrated and feel we can’t keep up. Even if you don’t think this overtly, you may carry this mentality within your subconscious mind.
You ARE unique and you need to begin to feel that it’s perfectly okay to walk your own walk. You do not want to “vibrate” exactly the same as everybody else. So refrain from the mindset of comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself to who YOU want to be, to where YOU want to go.
That’s not to say your path is solitary, or should be — it is always brilliant and beneficial to be connected to others as they walk along their own personal paths. However, hold on to your own dreams and visions of what you wish your life to be. Don’t let the influence of others overtake you. And you don’t really need to “walk a mile” in their shoes. Just be tolerant, understanding, respectful. And continue merrily on your way.
However, when we encounter challenging times along our path, it often becomes tough to think clearly and we get sidetracked. People often write to me about challenges and wonder how to energetically persevere and overcome these personal hurdles (which can sometimes be truly major obstacles.)
Here are a few suggestions:
- Acknowledge your human perspective and know that it is okay to be stymied by challenges (we ALL are.) Then acknowledge that deep within you are strong — you are POWERFUL and you have amazing potential. Consciously call upon your inner strength to see you through.
- Call upon the higher consciousness, Source, God, the Divine, your angels (whatever you believe) and ask for assistance with your challenge. Prayer and requests are always helpful — moving some of your burden out of your heart and turning it over to a Higher Power.
- Be of the thought set to “move ahead.” Even though your goal or wish may seem like a zillion steps away — a veritable long and winding road — or your challenge looks as high as a mountain, just know you can move ahead and make progress a little at a time.
Remember Lao Tzu’s sage statement from thousands of years ago: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” So TAKE THAT FIRST STEP. And take it with as much light and joy as you can muster — “fake it til you make it.” At least you will have spurred yourself into action. It is always motivating to “chunk it down.” Divide your dream, your wish or your obstacle into doable segments. - And most of all, be kind to yourself. Don’t chastise yourself harshly for not being where you want to be. That type of head talk will only be painful and and further debilitating. So encourage yourself as you can. Know that challenges come — but challenges also go — and you can ride out the stormy wave and once again find a sense of peace and harmony in your life. YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH.
Affirmations:
- I call upon my inner strength to see me through challenging times.
- One step at a time and one goal-at-a-time is the way to achieve my dreams and plans.
- I am always kind to myself, as well as being loving and compassionate toward others.